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News Alert from Almost True News (ATN)
Trump announced a new plan yesterday for a wall along the southern border of the United States. This decision came immediately on the heels of the Congressional rejection of his wall funding plan in their 2017 supplemental budget. In a hastily released statement on Monday the self-proclaimed real estate genius announced a public/private partnership with Mexico that will pay for the wall.
In the tersely worded statement Trump stuck to his campaign pledge by doubling down on his wall plan and proposing a 1,900-mile-long luxury resort complex integrated along its entire length.
It will feature thousands of apartments and condominiums in a continuous development that will stretch the length of the US southern border with Mexico. Called Wal-a-Lago, it will include 500 golf courses, thousands of luxury units, 24/7 Homeland Security, territorial views to the north and golden toilets in every unit. “It will be the most beautiful, longest golf development ever built. I have the best contractors in the world to build it, trust me.” his statement reads. Repeated calls to his contractors for comment were not returned.
“All of the benefits of this development, plus the securing our southern border from criminals and rapists will be a “win-win” for America”, Trump’s statement promised. He also said that profits from Wal-a-Lago will be donated to his charity, his children for managing this project and his political action committees.
Major media outlets and government watchdog groups quickly questioned whether this luxury development plan violates anti-nepotism laws and various ethical and moral codes, and environmental guidelines.
Trump’s representatives were asked for a reaction. No one was immediately available for a comment but Sean Spicer, President Trump’s Press Secretary, responded to a question at this afternoon’s press briefing stating; “Wal-a-Lago will be no different than the Trump Organization’s renovation of the Old Post Office in Washington DC – just a lot longer.” He went on to say that the President is not subject to conflict of interest laws or any other ethical policy or moral code.
The project expects to break ground after President Trump issues a trade tariff on Mexican imports. He expects this tariff will cover the $50 billion cost of this wall-development project.
The National Corn Farmers Association released a statement praising this new plan. Their spokesman stated; “We may lose billions in exports to Mexico when they retaliate with tariffs on our Mexican corn exports but we support our President because he’s a successful businessman.”
Other farming organizations and landscape services businesses also praised the decision. The National Association of Landscape Businesses spokesman stated; “This wall will prevent Mexicans from returning to Mexico. We desperately need to keep them in the United States to harvest our crops, build our homes, mow our lawns and care for our children.”
Unexpected endorsement came from two Mexican trade associations including the Industrial Ladder and Lift Association and the Tunnel and Boring Equipment Association. They expect to see many new jobs created after Wal-a-Lago is completed.
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This is a satirical series on POTUS Trump’s early 2020 campaign efforts. As his popularity slumps, Trump hits the campaign trail while staying close to his favorite activity. New images will be added frequently.
Introducing the TrumpMobile
Trump 2020 hits the campaign trail.